Understand why people act the way they do

This is The Survival Kit. Rather, this is not a guide on “getting over it” (since healing is not something one competes at), but rather a guide that provides important strategies for surviving the first 30 days, when the waves are at their largest

My father used to say

"Knowledge is like a life jacket. It does not do anything for you if you do not want to use it. I can give you the things you need. I cannot make you want to try. This guide is not helpful to someone who wants to give up. It is only useful for the person who wants to keep going and come out on top. Knowledge is a thing to have but it is only good if you use it. If you have knowledge and you do not use it it is, like having a life jacket and not putting it on. Knowledge is a tool that can help you. You have to want to use it."

The Real-Life Story: The 4-Minute Mile of the Mind

For a time doctors and scientists said that it was not possible for a person to run a mile in under four minutes. They said that the human heart would actually explode from running that. The bones in our body are not made to handle that kind of stress when we run a mile in under four minutes. Doctors and scientists thought that running a mile in, under four minutes was something that humans could not do.

Every athlete reads the journals. The athletes believe in the science manual. The athletes think that is the limit. So the athletes do not go past the limit of the science manual. Every athlete stays behind the limit of the science manual.

Then came Roger Bannister.

Bannister did not have a body. He did not have shoes. The thing that made him special was that he did not listen to the people who said he had to be slow to be safe. Bannister just decided that he was going to do things his way. The four-minute barrier was a deal. In 1954 Bannister broke the four-minute barrier. This was a big achievement, for Bannister.

This is re

ally cool. The real magic happened when other people saw what he did. Within a weeks of him doing it lots of other runners did the same thing. They basically copied what he did. The thing that is really amazing is that dozens of runners did the same.

The world around us was still the same. The wind kept on blowing. The track was just as hard.. Something inside of them changed. They started to believe that they could really do it. Once they thought it was possible their bodies started to listen to their minds. The physical world hadn't changed,. Their belief in what was possible had. This change, in belief made all the difference and their bodies followed what their minds were telling them.

You are standing at your starting line right now. This starting line feels impossible to begin with. I can give you advice on breathing and sleeping and how to deal with thoughts that bother you.. If you still think that your heart is designed to break or that you are meant to suffer then your legs will not move. You have to remember that your heart is not designed to break and you are not meant to suffer. Your starting line is where you are now and it is up, to you to take the first step.

What i mean?

This Survival Kit is a plan to help you deal with the times ahead for the next 30 days. It is, like a battle strategy. A good leader can give you the tools but Survival Kit is still just a bunch of ideas if you do not take action. The Survival Kit will not work if you do not use it.

I am giving you the plan of action. I am providing you with all the details of how to do it. But you have to be the one to really want to make the strategy and the logistics work you have to provide the will to make it happen with the strategy and the logistics.

If you are waiting for something to tell you it is time to start feeling better this is it. Do not just look at these words really think about them. You have to believe that the person you will be in thirty days is worth fighting for. The you thirty days, from now is worth fighting for.

The window is right there. Are you ready to break it?

The brain thinks that a broken heart and a broken bone are the thing. Both of these things are a problem, for our body. When something is wrong our body sends out a warning signal. You cannot just think about the problem. Make it go away. The brain is saying that something is wrong and you need to do something about it. You have to do something to make the warning signal stop. You have to move your body to get past the pain of a heart or a broken bone. The brain will keep sending out the warning signal until you do something about it. You must move your way through the pain of a heart.

The Real-Life Story: The 4-Percent Sweet Spot

Steven Kotler is a performance expert who does a lot of research on what people can do. He found something he calls the 4% Challenge-to-Skills Ratio. This is a rule that Steven Kotler talks about when he's looking at human limits and the 4% Challenge-, to-Skills Ratio.

Imagine a surfer who rides big waves for a living. If this surfer tries to ride a wave that's a lot bigger than what they are used to they will not be able to handle it. They will get scared. Their body will not know what to do. The wave will be too much for them. They will get hurt.

If this big-wave surfer tries to ride a wave that is just a little bit bigger, than what they can handle something cool happens. The big-wave surfers brain goes into what's called Flow. They are still scared of the wave but their body is able to ride the wave anyway. The big-wave surfer is able to perform and ride the wave.

The Lesson for You: Most people do not make it past the 30 days because they try to get better completely on the very first day. This is a jump and it will be too much for you to handle. Being strong is not about being completely fearless it is about taking steps, like the Lesson for You says it is about the small 4% move. It is about doing one thing like drinking a glass of water or going for a short walk when your brain is telling you that everything is falling apart. The Lesson for You is that survival is, about achieving these small 4% wins and the Lesson for You is what will help you get through this.

The 30-Day Tactical Manual (Scientific Basis)

Phase 1: Days 1–10 | The Biological Shock (Shock & Numbness)

The Science: According to The Body Keeps the Score your Amydala, which is basically the brains alarm system is working overtime now. The Amydala is what helps keep you safe. When it gets too stressed it can cause big problems. This means your body is filled with cortisol and catecholamines which're like super strong chemicals that can really affect how you feel. The Amydala is supposed to help protect you. When it is red-lining like it is now it can be really tough to deal with.

The Tactic is called Bottom-Up Regulation. When you are having a panic attack talking does not help. You need to use things that affect your body. For example you can try splashing water on your face. This helps the Vagus Nerve. You can also try something called box breathing. This is when you breathe in and out in a way to slow down your heart rate. The Vagus Nerve and box breathing are tools that can really help with panic attacks and lower your heart rate.

Survival Goal: Do not think about what to do. The part of your brain that helps you make sense of things is not working now. Just focus on keeping your body alive like an animal would do to survive.

Phase 2: Days 11–20 | The Withdrawal Phase (Dopamine Crash)

The Science: Dr. Helen Fisher did some research. She found out that when we lose someone important to us like when we go through a breakup or someone dies it affects our brain in a similar way, to when people stop using cocaine. Our brain is basically going through a kind of detox. We are literally detoxing from the person we lost. That is a really tough thing to go through. The Science of losing someone is pretty clear. Our brain reacts to it in a way just like Dr. Helen Fisher said.

The Tactic is to use a routine as a way to help you get things done. When you do not feel like doing anything you need to follow a schedule that is based on the clock. This is what we call a "Clock-Based Routine". The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology did some research. Found out that a lot of people who are really sad and upset have trouble sleeping. This is a problem because 78% of people who are going through a tough time have sleep disturbances. So you need to make yourself go to bed and wake up at the time every day to keep your body healthy. The Tactic of using a routine will help you protect your immune system.

My goal for survival is to be consistent in ways. If I eat my meals and take a shower then I think I have done a job for the day. I mean if I can just do these things like eating and showering then that is a success, for me. I do not need to do a lot to feel like I have won the day. Just eating and showering is enough for me to say that I have had a day.

Phase 3: Days 21–30 | The Integration Phase (The Upward Turn)

The Science: This is where the Dual Process Model starts. Your brain begins to go forth between Loss-Orientation, which is when you are feeling sad and crying and Restoration-Orientation, which is when you are thinking about what you can do next and planning for the future. The Dual Process Model is about how your brain switches between these two things, between Loss-Orientation and Restoration-Orientation.

The Tactic is about taking on 4 percent challenges. You start with tasks that help you rebuild like what I call "reconstruction" tasks. Try spending 15 minutes doing something you enjoy like a hobby or go to a new place. This really helps your brain change. Get better at dealing with new things, which is called Neuroplasticity. It shows your brain that you can survive and be okay even when things are different. The Tactic and these small challenges can make a difference, in your life and it all starts with taking on these 4 percent challenges and building Neuroplasticity.

Survival Goal: Recognition of the "New Normal." You aren't "over it," but you are no longer a victim of the shock.

Stop looking at your phone. Just stop it. Stop checking your notifications all the time. You do not need to wait for someone to say sorry to you. You do not need a text message that says "hello how are you" or some kind of sign from the universe that says it is time to be okay. Stop waiting for these things. The phone is not going to make you feel better. Stop checking it. Start moving on with the rest of your life. Stop waiting for an apology, from someone. You are waiting for a text message or a sign that it is time to be okay. It is not going to come. Just. Move on with your life.

The rescue party is not coming. Not that person you thought was going to save you. Not your. Your dad and not the person you loved who said they would always be there for you. The rescue party is not going to help you. They are not the ones who will get you through this time. They were people who were with you, for a little while and then they got off and left you. If you are waiting for them to come back before you start living your life then you are not really living. You are just going through the motions waiting for your body to catch up with what your heart knows. That the rescue party is not coming. The people you were counting on like your parents they are not coming back to save you. You have to save yourself.

The final thing i can say:

I gave you the tactics. I gave you the science. I gave you the 30-day manual. But let us be very clear about this: these words are something you see on a screen. If something bad happens to you tonight the world will just keep going. The sun will come up the traffic will keep moving. The people who hurt you will have breakfast. The universe does not care about being fair, to the tactics and the science and the 30-day manual. The universe does not care about fairness all when it comes to you and the tactics and the science and the 30-day manual.

You are the one who really cares if your heart is still beating tomorrow. You have to be the one to take care of yourself. You are like a soldier, a medic and a general at the same time in this fight. If you do not take action you will lose. You have to fight for yourself because nobody else will do it for you. If you do not pick up your rifle, which's your tool to defend yourself your position will be taken over by things that are not good, for you.

Stand up. Do not stay down. Staying down is a choice to disappear. If you stay down you will disappear. Nobody is going to stop you from disappearing if that is what you choose to do. Stand up because staying down means you will vanish. Stand up. Do not disappear. i know you will save yourself as i did.

The 30 days start now. You’re on your own. Good luck.